Tuesday, 5 September 2017

The marshmallow unicorn

You were a marshmallow unicorn.
looked so beautiful,
felt so soft,
even the spiky part gave in.

And in any rain
you'd melt to sugar
and show all of your ridiculousness.

Inside there was no blood or bone
nothing so solid or biological,
so solid core,
no grit,
so you melted
when things got emotional.

I'm heartbroken
but I only said goodbye
I cry tears full of salt
and that will melt your sugar
to a puddle of nothing.

Tuesday, 7 March 2017

The Second coming of horor

"Alex, are you going back to your flat."

Alex thought about it.

"Can I stay with your lot?"

"I'll talk dad, round, we need money to keep things going so pay your way and you'll be doing us a favour, what about your clothes."

"I'll go back now and get my stuff."

The girls got on the bus and watched the zombie kills outside, the sight was no longer shocking and the girls were just relieved it wasn't them doing the killing. The summer had gone from thundery to beautiful that just made all the violence look unreal.

"Our stop."

Said Kayleigh,

"Brolly at the ready."

They killed a man and a woman with grit and determination.

Kayleigh let herself in in her small bottom floor flat, she walked into her kitchen and saw her zombie husband banging at the window. The man she had declared she would love forever had half a face, with maggots eating out of his eyes, she had killed him once and now she would have to kill him again. The small lawn where she could picture her children playing was wrecked from where he had climbed his shallow grave and was now on a mission to manically kill anyone in his way, and now she had to kill him again. He smashed through the window so she smacked him over the head with an umbrella, the maggots were a weak point so he worked on that part of his head until his head caved in, she had killed him twice. Now his blood was dripping into her kitchen sink and she had a funeral to arrange.

Alex ran out into the street.

"Kayleigh, I had to kill Tom again, help us with the body."

Kayleigh walked in and went pale

"That's Tom, so that's where he went."


Explained Alex, he was turning and came at me, so killed him, and then I buried him in the garden, and he got out,"

"Jesus Chirs, why didn't you tell anyone, we could have helped you."

Kayleigh and Alex pulled the rotting body out of the kitchen into the garden. Kayleigh noticed a tear in Alex's eye.

"Alex this must be horrible."

"Yes, I pictured our first kid playing on this lawn, I do have feelings, I'm just holding off until the end of this crap."

"I know, sweetie, I wish I was as brave as you."

I wish I was as nice as you."

Replied Alex.

"What the hell are we going to do with this?"

Asked Kayleigh.

"Give him a funeral, he was a good bloke, he deserves it."

Alex looked on her phone for a funeral director and rang, the rings stopped.

"Alex, I think you're in shock, we killed two people just now, and any non-zombies are doing the same, if we want to give Tom a funeral, we'll have to do it."

Alex wept tears that had been waiting to fall and hugged Kayleigh.

"It might be good for you,  and all of us."

Sue knocked on the front door, she was a neighbour.

"That's Tom, in the garden."

She was an older lady who Alex suspected was a bored woman who treated her neighbour's lives like her own, personal soap opera.

"Oh no Alex, I'm so sorry, only just married as well, how awful."

Saturday, 4 March 2017

A funeral for the living

I should wait until your body dies,
to arrange the funeral,
but your diamonds left your bones
a good few years ago
and your soul is at the bottom of
a cheap bottle of cider.

So I've had my funeral,
the one in my mind
any good memories have gone
because they were just all lies.
And you murdered love
and replaced it with PTSD.

And every day
is a toward to an early death
nothing will stop you
self-pity fuels you
and pushes you to the edge of life
and a rotting zombie stumbles back.

In your drama,
you wear the only crown of thorns
but we all wear them too
you ripped trust from your children
way too young
and pulled my heart from my chest.

Friday, 3 March 2017

Alternative facts


Claire stood at her front door in her PJs totally confused at what the visitors were saying.

"We're very offended at what you tweeted, it's our opinion the world's flat and you're opinion it's a ball, and that's all it is, an opinion."

"How the hell did you find me?, I never use my real name"

Exclaimed Claire

"We have our ways"

said the hollow-eyed boy.

"So you're clever enough to find me on Twitter, but you can't work out the world is round, I'm confused."

It was a windy day, Claire was embarrassed to be caught in her night clothes.

"Guys, I'll get some clothes on and we'll talk"

Claire ran up the stairs and pulled some jeans and a jumper on and opened the door.

"OK come in"

Claire showed the teenagers to her kitchen in her downstairs flat and they all sat her small table.

"I'm "The truth Seeker and this is "God's child", remember the names.


Claire inwardly rolled her eyes

She looked at the green haired pixie-like girl who was shooting her looks across her kitchen table and the skinny, hooded teen. Claire wondered how these kids could find her on Twitter, find her house and then ask for a debate on the shape of the earth while keeping a straight face.

"We're offended, you said things that triggered us, we were both bullied at school."

Claire's mind worked in overtime, she looked at these two small teens and felt a little sorry for the ripe insults she'd typed.

"OK. I'm sorry about the insults, I didn't know how young you were, but the world is still round, that's just a fact."

"But the law's changed, what you did will be a hate crime soon, very soon."

Clair turned to her laptop to check what the teens were saying. The teens were right

"Minority views will be protected by law next year, soon you could appear in court for insulting people who believe in alternative truths"

The blood drained from Claire's face, this was madness in law.

"Can we go for a walk?" Asked Claire

"How can we trust you?"

Mumbled the boy.


Said Claire,

"I'm a good person, I let you in, we've talked and this is my only day off work this week, I just want to show you something that's not on a screen."

Claire pulled on her boots and they walked down the suburban street, it was a windy day with clouds chasing each other. The clouds parted and Claire shouted,

"Look up"

There was an aeroplane trail that went straight up as if it was a rocket.

"Get in your house, they're spraying poison at us."

"What, no they're not, those are just very big exhaust fumes."

Exclaimed Claire.

"No look, it looks like a rocket, but when you went on holiday did it feel like you were going up like that?"

"No, because those are a projection"

Claire had run out of patience.

"Look, I'll just block you both and we'll have to agree to disagree."

The two teens nodded.

"And never come to my house again."

Claire walked back to her house and went on to her computer, she downloaded the Dark Net, the truth would always be more important than the law, and the earth would always be round.

The cliff.

You jump off a cliff,
every morning.
and stayed alive,
and wondering why.

Battered and bruised
the walking dead
an ex-person
with a shell
of paranoia and pain
you were too pissed to feel.

And you stole and stole
until everyone went
in a flat with the piss heads
who everyone else hates.

You wasted away
with bright yellow eyes,
looking closer to a corpse
with every bottle of cider
not even your kids miss you.

And soon you'll walk off the same cliff,
and the edge of the world,
and then you'll land dead
and we'll carry on.
A life that could have been.

Saturday, 25 February 2017

My Pet Ex

I used to pay for the crap you needed,
feed you,
pet you, tell you I loved you
even when you made me forget
what love can be,
and it's wasn't with you.

You are my pet ex,
and now you're feral
and I watch you mess up
half gleeful,
half pitying you.

And you'll play either
wounded animal
or knight on a horse,
you'll show some mug,
your big blue eyes
like a vicious dog
disguising yourself as a family pet.

In my mind, I'm dragging you around
on a lead you so desperately need.
I dream about you
in technicolor
and then wake up

Sunday, 12 February 2017

Back at the Battleground

Kayleigh and Alex walked into chaos.

Bruce and his crew had bright green tee shirts on, they had slogans printed on them that said "Callum the Killer" "Bruce the Bruiser and other idiotic slogans. Heavy metal blasted from speakers and Kayleigh recognised the lyrics, they words were,

"If we sing along, a little fucking louder, to a happy song, I know I'll be ok."

It was one of her favourite songs before the disaster she would listen to it before work

Umbrellas and baseball bats were flying around and a vicious zombie kill was taking place.

Brenton was buzzing.

"Go lads, go"

He was shouting.

"Come into the office, we might have a deal ladies"

Kayleigh and Alex walked into the office, Lauren was already there, her twisted mouth had a small smile and for once her long, straight hair was pulled back from her pale face.

"I looked at the CCTV and ladies, even though you both killed two pillars of this office they were zombies"

"So we have our job back"

Asked Alex,

"Not quite, I want a number from you ladies."

"Oh yes"

"You've got Lauren to thank, I want the magic number from that phone,, what's his name, The Power Guy".

"I'll talk to Alex in private first."

Said Kayleigh, with unusual confidence.

"I thought you'd say that, so I have a deal"

Just then a zombie burst through the glass wall, Kayleigh and Alex killed him quickly and cleanly and dragged them out of the small office quickly.

"I know how good you are at killing the zombie thing so I made you some tee shirts and you can be in the second team of zombie killers."

Brenton proudly got some hen night, hot pink, Hen night polo shirts and in comic sans was written,

"Lady Killerz"

The three girls rolled their eyes in total unison.

"Look, Alex at the introductory  "Let's make friends ceremony you said your favorite colour's blue, so look what it says.

"Mental Murderer"

And Kayliegh, you've got that first aid certificate, so yours says"

Brenton held up the shirt proudly

"The Nurse"

And Alex, this is my favourite,

"Loopy Lauren"

"Now ladies, you'll be on the second team, cleaning up and second in line for defence."


Shouted Lauren

Bruce came smashing through the glass, he roared in everyone's faces, Lauren, Alex and Kayleigh killed him.

Brenton looked pale,

"Well done ladies, sod it I need you, welcome back."

Techno now blasted through the floor, but nobody was dancing. Everyone was smacking each other.

Alex, Kayleigh and Lauren took charge

"Everyone calm down"

There were 3 more zombies who used to be on the phone. Alex turned to Brenton as snarled,

"They did a good job"

Brenton became quiet. Lauren sat down at her desk and opened a notebook, Brenton looked over her shoulder.

There were handwritten notes and diagrams, she started to write. Lauren was writing down patterns in the zombie's behaviour and trying to work out what people into zombies.

"Lauren that's a really good idea."

Said Brenton, Lauren was shocked at the praise and felt very uncomfortable with being praised by her boss.

"So what do you think it all means" asked Brenton.

Lauren shrugged her shoulders even though vivid 3 d pictures were forming in her mind and explanations were streaming to her.

Breton tried to understand,

"Lauren, you got you mates jobs back, you're making this book, I know how clever you are, you just need to talk to us, we're all on the same side now, and you look better with all that hair out of your face."

Praise from anyone in authority was incredibly unfamiliar, it was strange that someone in authority respected her because she had no respect for authority.

"And the number"

"Lauren said quietly, you need us, what can you do for us?"

Brenton walked off, and decided that love bombing may not work on Lauren and he would need another plan, he wanted this call centre to be the only branch listening to complaints about broken high heels and jeans that should have been ripped came perfect in the country, zombies may even bring promotion.